Life as a Single Parent

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Single parenting. Why it's important to take care of yourself... for kids' sake!

Although being a single parent isn't the taboo it was generations ago, the job of raising kids on your own is still a tough one. After all, it's single parents who must carry out all of the parenting roles... from provider to nurturer and all else in between. And that leaves little time for a social life. Yet, according to family life instructor Jodi Pemberton, there is no one who more needs a network of family and friends than the single parent. "It’s easy for a single parent to get themselves into a bubble," explains Pemberton. "Between work and quality time with the kids, a single parent has little time left to go out with friends, so they don't network and get the support system that they need." Pemberton adds that "single parent families are family units within themselves. So getting out there and being with other families is absolutely crucial."

Jodi Pemberton suggests that another secret to successful single parenting is rewarding yourself for devotion to the task. "Try to reward yourself everyday. Do something good for yourself, like a long hot bath, a chocolate or 10 minutes of meditation. Rewarding yourself is very important."

As well as taking care of yourself, single parents need to take good care of their limited finances. Senior tax manager Cynthia Santin says single parents often have quite a financial burden to contend with but that with diligence, life on one income can be managed successfully. "I think as a single parent there is potential for living comfortably, but you're going to have to have extremely good control over your financial situation. You're going to have to make a financial plan and budget, and compare your actual expenditures to your budget. You're going to have to maximize all the tax deductions available and look to any government assistance you can receive," suggests Santin.

And Santin’s final word of financial caution for the single parent is simple but true for any type of family unit! "If you have credit cards, manage them very carefully."

10 Tips For Single Parents To Make School Days the Best

Saturday, November 21, 2009

1 Homework Ideas

Create a place and routine to do homework – When Lillie wanted to watch TV while doing homework because she studied better that way. I began to argue with her until she pointed out she is a straight A student. So I told her that she could do her homework in this way until her grades slipped. It never did. John wanted to paint his room black. I resisted and set a high goal for him to get this. It took him years before he was able to paint his room. He did so much better with his school work, I wish I had let him paint his room sooner. And with his Oak furniture, even I liked the effect.

2 Meet The Teacher

Make a point to attend open house, and conferences

3 Volunteer

Pick something during the year to volunteer for like field trips, homeroom activities, or something you can do from home

4 Opportunities

Get to know what the school has to offer. There may be a bulletin board where you can put your needs. Does your school offer counseling, speech therapy or other services?

5 PTA Meetings

Go to these meetings, you’ll meet other parents and sometimes there are great speakers.

6 Plan For The Cost Of The Extras

It seemed to me the kids were always needing $1-2 for special projects and field trips for the NEXT day. I didn’t always have extra money . So I started and envelope for each of them so I’d have it set aside to be ready.

7 Set Expectations

what you expect from your child and what your child can expect from you

8 Comparisons

Don’t compare your child with other children. This frustrates them and will be a discouragement. Help them to find their strengths and talents. Even if they have a talent, do they have the passion? Lillie has talent with music both in playing an instrument as well as singing. However, she wasn’t interested in either enough to do them more than one year in school. When she took an art course in High School, she had the passion that matched her talent. She has continued to paint years after her initial class.

9 Learning Style

Find out your child’s learning style. Many schools cater to audio and visual learners. What does that mean for the child who is kinesthetic? How do you help your child fit into an environment that isn’t suited to their strength?

10 Start The Day Out Right

Make you all have a great breakfast. Even quick and easy breakfasts can be nutritional. Have a staging area where you child can put everything needed for school the night before.